old!

subtle signs time is sneaking up on me

A few little things have crept up ever so slowly on me. They’re so subtle that I could have missed them and not chalked them up to aging. I think paying attention to them is how I’ll remember that I am aging and hopefully I won’t just wake up one day and be all surprised like, “I AM OLD!” It’s incredibly easy to forget that I’m older. Sometimes I see my old face in the mirror and am temporarily shocked because I am not 23.

These are the recent signs I am moving towards crone-hood.

1. I ordered soup at a restaurant as an entree. For dinner.

2. I drive out of my way for cheaper gas.

3. My favorite way to pass the time is identifying birds in my backyard by sound.*

4. I can only sit in the sun for 10 minutes before needing protection.

5. I do not understand most slang, unless it happens to also be the same slang that was popular in the 90s.

6. Speaking of the 90s, I enjoy watching reruns of Martha Stewart Living.**

7. I have become totally overwhelmed by remote controls.

8. I recently upped the dose of my estriodol patch.

9. The other day a friend mentioned enjoying cottage cheese and that very week I got some cottage cheese and really enjoyed it. I plan on getting more and have thought a lot about it.

10. If I can be in my pajamas by 7 pm, I feel like I won the lottery.

Onward & upward,

Merrick

*We could probably add “I use phrases like ‘pass the time’” to this list. Backyard birds I can identify by song & by call. I think that is my first geriatric flex.

Birds of my backyard that I can identify by song AND by call from top left clockwise: white-breasted nuthatch, spotted towhee, eurasian collared-dove, American robin, northern flicker, blue jay, black-capped chickadee, female & male house finch

also female & male red-winged blackbird. (if the female & male of a species look very similar, I didn’t include a photo of both.)

I cannot yet identify a red-tailed hawk (top pictures) & a Swainson's hawk (bottom pictures) from their calls. They sound the same to me.

**I know this because we inherited a television from my parents and it is a Samsung television that when you turn it on, there are a bunch of pre-set channels you can watch live. One of those channels is the Martha Stewart Channel. I recently realized if I turn on the Samsung television and it is set to any other channel, there is a very strong chance that what I will see will make me feel nervous or scared or agitated. I came to the decision to always have it set to the Martha Stewart Channel to avoid disregulating my nervous system unnecessarily. Sometimes, what Martha is doing in 1995 is so gentle and calming (arranging flowers she cut from her garden in a cool dark room during a not too hot time of the day) that I forget what I wanted to watch in the first place and the next thing I know, I’m watching Martha’s arborists prune her maples and a gorgeous ginkgo and then we’re in the kitchen and she’s making four different kinds of cheesecake (topped with four varietals of currants, all from her garden) and teaching me the best way to blanch snap beans (many varietals, also freshly harvested from her garden).

The great news it that I am 48 and incredibly wise so I know that 1) I have never made a cheesecake and 2) I don’t want to make a cheesecake and 3) I do not need to be tempted to buy springform pans. Twenty years ago, or even 10 years ago, I would have been compelled to buy those pans to make Martha’s ricotta cheesecake but now I am content to just watch her make them and call it a day. Know thyself.